He is abusive, why would you want to tell him if you know he'll explode? That's a good way to end up dead...seriously. Just play it safe. Why does he even need to know? Start asking your knight to fix things or hire someone. There is no reason to let someone you know is harmful but emotionally and physically into your home. Thats just stupid.
Get smart and start playing it safe. You need to take care of you.What should I do, can someone help my love life? I just need some advice!?
You have not closed the chapter of your life with your husband yet. Why on earth would you mention another man to him. You are misleading your husband by having him come to help you and not being straight with him. If it is really over then stop seeing your husband altogether. The guy from the past is in the past. You are not the same person you were when you knew this other previously. Don't kid yourself that he wants you now. Deal with one issue at a time or else you will end up in a bigger mess.
Tell your husband after the papers are signed. You don't want him to react by not granting you the divorce you need. Don't lead him on by allowing him to still take care of you. If it is not necessary, don't ask him over. Keep your distance from him so he'd know you don't want to rekindle what was lost. Just try and be friends with him.
either change the locks
or
move and dont tell your ex where you have gone and dont make contact change your number etc etc
or
get a domestic violence order from the police so that he cant come near you. that's domestic violence what he did and its wrong
dont let him get to you. stay strong and dont have any contact with the bast*rd!
Hello, Cassi.
No-one but you can truly answer that question, can they?
And no, you are most assuredly not the bad guy, as you say.
Regards. I hope things work out for you. You deserve some happiness.
STOP having your hubby fix up the place especially when you know he thinks he has a shot.
Do NOT tell him about you liking another guy
Do NOT get involved with another guy until you are DIVORCED!!
You are a user.
serve him the papers already, and im sure he won't come around and fix your sheet anymore.
your a loser
Try not to lead your husband on.
Oh dear, you need to do some work on yourself before you can say that you are really over your husband.
You are separated but you still allow him to come and fix up your place, why? What are your motives? Can you not say no, or are you secretly enjoying having some power over him for a change?
You say you still care about him even though he has treated you with no love or respect for the last three years. What does it take, a sledgehammer on the head? How much more abuse do you need to get it - he doesn't love you, respect up or care about you the way he should.
You need to take a little longer before diving into a new relationship. At least until you have placed very firm boundaries on this one. If you are separated and are serious about divorce, stay away from your husband and make sure he stays away from you. At the moment you are neither one thing or another and you are helping to create a situation where it is inevitable that he will explode because you are using him quite wrongly, for whatever reason and you are playing a dangerous game with a dangerous man.
The last thing you need right now is a new man in your life until you have sorted out your feelings for your husband and see your marriage for what it was - an abusive, mismatched mistake.
You deserve a second chance. Being abusive towards a lady is one ungentlemanly and coward act. If your 'guy from the past' is still unattached, then you should go for it. After all you did give your ex a chance before but he threw it away. But a word of cautious - Stay away if your Knight is a married man. As this will only cause further emotions disasters not only to you but him and probably his entire family. You need not tell your husband what exactly is going on, not even after the papers are signed. Some selfish man would expect their spouse to be loveless once they go separate ways. Keep whatever emotions which you have for now - do not let it become another issues for him to hurl hurting words at you and humiliating your dignity. All the best.
Good question.
Why do you want a ';knight in shining armor';?
This is very heart and soul of the female image. Women, as girls, all crave the same thing. To be captured by the man because of her beauty. This is no fairy tale. This is how all girls grew up. They put on fancy dresses and served tea parties. They dressed up and made up to be everything beautiful. THIS NEVER STOPS!
And you chose your husband over all men because he affirmed you AS the beauty.
And he stopped doing it. In your immaturity to be continually affirmed as the beauty, you started looking ';out there'; for someone else to do it. Your husband has proved in spades that he does not understand you and possibly never will. This is why you don't trust him and have made the fateful decision to not even allow him to know the truth.
You have never been divorced before. You do not know the pain that you are in for. Like all things, you will have to got through that fire to know what other people have already found out.
Here's the deal: In your immaturity to really explain all this to your husband (because you don't know how to do that) for him to KNOW you - the proof of your divorce will tell others that you really don't know how to do long-term relationship. More importantly, that you don't know how to do deep, interpersonal, intimate conversation to bring about correct change in the marital covenant.
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