I need advice about my sex life in my marriage...?

My husband and I have been married a little over 2 years and we have had sex 3 times in 2 years...yeah that's right 3 times! And it's not due to me not wanting to...it is him not wanting to. We have a good relationship outside of the bedroom...he is my best friend and we do lot of things together...go to movies...travel...watch sports...eat out...we even cuddle....but when I push for sex he is like...NO! So now I have just quit trying altogether...a girl can only take so much rejection. I am 30 and he is 28...I am now to the point in my life where I am ready to start trying for a baby but that is gonna be kinda hard when we don't have sex. He works alot and so do I...that is one of the things that drew us to each other in the beginning. When we first started dating we had sex quite a bit and we got married 6 months later and the sex was becoming less and and less then and now it is nothing. I have tried talking to him about this a million times and he refuses to talk about it...he gets mad and completely shuts down or he'll leave or yell at me or start a fight or won't even talk to me. We've gone to counseling before about this too but he won't talk about it there either. I don't know what to do. I love him very much but it is so frustrating for me. I feel like an entire part of our relationship is missing. I feel like we have this perfect relationship in all other aspects except for the intimacy part and that is a BIG part for me! HELP!!!! What can I do???!!!!!I need advice about my sex life in my marriage...?
I think that there has to be something wrong for him not to want to have sex at all? Do you really think he is always at work? Could he be cheating? Maybe he likes men, but is not ready to come out of the closet?I need advice about my sex life in my marriage...?
you need a marriage counselor who specializes in sex relationships
if he is not having an affair and it is not physical then it might be mental. he might think of you as a friend and not a lover. you might try this but you might not like the results. go with him to a nice beach and watch his reaction to the girls there.you will understand once you are there. i hope this will help.
Damn, girl. I think you two should go to marriage counseling. Or maybe you should leave him. What the hell is wrong with him being that he doesn't want to have sex with you? Maybe he likes men? I couldn't be you because I would leave him. I think you've dealt with it for far too long.
One thing they have discovered recently is that when men get what they want, they get married or a long tern relationship, part of their brain shuts down. MRI's show it. Women ask why their husbands change when they get married. Because it is biological. There is a solution, but most people don't like the idea. Swingers figured it out about 1000 years ago when that upstart religion made polygamy punishable by being boiled in oil simply to control people and make money.
He has a medical problem and he is going to have to put away his pride to fix it, there are millions of men who have problems like that. It is nothing to be a shamed of. but let him do it himself.
This may be wrong of me to say, but is your man playing on the other team?
you need a counselor
I've been on the 'male' side of this (although circumstances were / are different).





The base line is that you have to decide what it is that you want, and if he isn't going to cooperate, then you have to make for yourself further answers to the questions you know are coming.





His reasons for not talking / cooperating in anything to do with the health of your relationship is His responsibility, as are the outcomes.





If he isn't going to come clean over what is going on within him, then you have to decide whether you want to 'hang around' and wait to see whether it is going to change ~ or not. Or not.





Sorry, but I'm afraid there are no magical solutions to this situation and his oral / emotional constipation.





Sash.
give me a call i will keep you very very happy!!!!
hate to tell you this, but it sounds like the classic case of an affair.





The signs are there from what you volunteered here for information and what you described sounds like the classic case of an underlying problem. There is an affair going on it would seem obvious but maybe not to you.





I found this article the other day it's pretty informative. check it out
Speak confidentially to his doctor. The problem could be physical or psychological. Not wanting to discuss it is a very common reaction because he knows about it and is feeling less of a man. He is brushing it under the carpet and discussing it brings it out and confirms it. He cannot help it and the more you ask him for sex the more insecure and inadequate you make him feel.
must have realisd he's a gay....
Have you tried having a sensual date with him? Turn the TV off (unless you put an adult film on), light some candles, turn on some mood music, get some lotions/creams from the sex shop. Get some toys to play with. It's all good.






Wow. I really feel for you. I hate to tell you but you do not have a marriage; what you have is a safe friendship for him. Something obviously triggered his situation and you need to figure out what that is. I would recommend therapy for him. Not counseling, but individual therapy for him. I would research some therapists and find a few good ones, preferably male. I would then confront him about this situation and you might need to give him an ultimatum. Either he gets some help, or you leave him. I don't think your situation is a healthy one and I think over time, IF he doesn't seek help, you will begin to resent him. Your marriage has already started to deteriorate because he won't talk about it. I can understand an unwillingness about something but he needs to come clean with you about why. What is it that he has trouble with. Sex is a huge part of marriage but I'm not trying to say it is everything. Sex usually does die down after marriage but it should never go away completely. I'd say sex 3 times in 2 years is pretty much non-existent. Ok, I'm going to throw some things out and I'm not implying anything, I'm just saying things off the top of my head: 1) do you think he had an affair? reason i ask is that he may be feeling extreme guilt 2) do you think your husband my be gay? that would explain the no sex now. maybe he was trying to convince himself he was hetero so he married you but realized he wasn't AFTER the marriage. In any case, your situation requires so major help or I fear the marriage will ultimately dissolve on it's own. Don't stay in this relationship if it is not a true partnership....sex is a part of marriage and if you spoke of children, then it is also a betrayal. Good luck.
My wife and me have it twice a day about everyday.


But she don't want any kids.


Would like to be with someone that wants children.


Take Care
Honey, this may seem hard to grasp, but perhaps he really is discovering that he is gay... I knew a man who was married for 22 years before he finally came out.





It seems like you have tried everything. You talked to him; you seeked counseling. I am not sure what you could do. I would give him an ultimatum. Tell him that you have a natural humanistic need and it makes you feel like less of a woman when he turns you down the way he does. If you wanted just a friend who you go out with, then you wouldn't be in a relationship.
This must be really hard for you because he won't talk about it with you but it sounds like he has some kind of extreame insecurity perhaps. Do you know if he is bisexual or maybe even homosexual and is just not comfortable coming out with it or even admitting it to himself? If it is not that which is may not be at all, I just know that that situation happens a great deal more than we are all aware. But in any case have you let him know how much you enjoyed it in the past or anything to encourage him. He may be looking for something more than conventional sex too and he maybe insecure about that. So you know him best and would have a better idea but if I were you I would try to be open to his desires if you have any idea what they may be. Even if you can't get him to talk about him you should probably just let him know that you love him, that you have needs and desires and that if you are willing to try to please him and whatever desires he may have the best way that you are personally comfortable. Good luck.
it could be that he is impotent (ie cant get it up) and feels that acknowledging the problem to be a threat to his manhood hence the overly defensive attitude





overworking cannot help and alcohol use and certain medical conditions and medicines can also hinder it too - perhaps get him checked out?