Advice anyone ?help my life is so messed up!?

hi im a 20 year old male and not really confident !ive always thought why this is then suddenly i realised what is there for me to be confident of?


My dad left me at the age of 6 which was hard emotionally and finacially!he used to see us but then told us not to meet him anymore through a phone call.ever since then i havent spoken to him and hate him and dont acknowledge him as my father.i igore his existence.because of him he made me go through hell as well as my family.At school i was always asked about my dad and could never say the truth and in school i was sort of shy .even in teenage years i had to learn things like shavin and driving without him-even now im not confident because i have lost my home as well and livin with my mum is not easy-she so negative about everything and has never encouraged me!shes very strict about things and doesnt give any freedom.she doesnt say i love you actaully she said oce to me that she hates me!she was angry at the time but that ripped my heart into peices!i couldnt get over that and she hasnt apologized ,she tends to ignore emotional issues but right now i dont have a brillian realtionship with her ,its sotr ot fake!


she always made me think i was a loser she never says good things but always shouts!


family life is quite rubbish and my girlfriend split up with me and i told her things i havnet told my best friend.


on top of everything im responsible for lookaftering my bros which i tell it aint easy so i gotta be a role model as everyone kindly popints out!


so i dont know ,what do you guys think is this a valid reason for not being confident and expressing myself to others!


my mate always say im negative


any thoughts or tips/advice or comments...woukld be appreciated


thanks guys...








Advice anyone ?help my life is so messed up!?
Believe it or not I can completely relate to you . My parents divorced when I was young as well. I grew up without a dad or male role model and for a long time I kept wondering what I did wrong. How come he didn't love me? How can he ignore the fact that we are HIS children too? I always feared abandonment and rejection. I also had a myriad of other issues with myself and men due to this.





You know what though? At some point in your life you have to realize that you are NOT your dad and he doesn't represent who YOU are. I can remember looking in the mirror and seeing my dad looking back at me and cry for hours. What did that accomplish? Absolutely nothing.





You can find confidence in yourself by loving yourself first and foremost. It's true what they say about ';You cannot love someone else until you love yourself.'; How can you offer someone anything if you aren't even happy with who you are? You truly can't!





So the first step is to find out who you are and embrace it.





Start looking at the glass as half full instead of half empty. When you become more optimistic and set goals for yourself and start to accomplish those goals it will automatically change the way you view yourself. You will be a happier person overall and that will build your confidence as well as attract others. Happy people attract other happy, positive, people.





Best of luck and if you need further advice please feel free to e-mail me!Advice anyone ?help my life is so messed up!?
I wish I could help but I don't know what to do... Sorry.





Good Luck :-)





P.S: I have a new question about the guy I want to come over and play on the Wii. Go check it out. :-)
contrary to popular belief, i think that smoking marijuana helps with all that, its a natural antidepressant, it calms u down, helped me deal with self worth issues and confidence too
Yoga and forums. helps ur mind and makes u feel better etc etc.
You answered my question when I said when I love my man I give him attention but he doesn't give much back. You told me to wait 2 weeks %26amp; give no more. But can you see, because so many people are like this the world ends up cold %26amp; loveless. I have a teenage son %26amp; like you we don't get on. He is so grouchy %26amp; rude. Expecting everyone to GIVE TO HIM %26amp; he gives NOTHING BACK. You are great that you help with yr brothers, but yr lack of confidence makes you unpleasent at times because people want you to 'lighten up a bit' laugh %26amp; joke around, when work needs doing - offer to help, tell people whats great about them and they will like you more.





Try %26amp; notice yr mum doing things at home to help you all. That may be the cleaning, washing the clothes the ironing, bringing shoppin in to feed you. Cooking %26amp; tell her you know she's is special because SHE STILL loved you when yr dad let you down. She still stayed there %26amp; did what ever she could even though she may have wanted to leave %26amp; go party %26amp; have fun.





Us women have so much to give you guys, but you stop us by not being able to cope with our love for you. You all say, don't give too much with a man or he may feel harrassed.





Is that because he doesn't feel he deserves love %26amp; attention?





Why not? We want to just love you guys - open up let us love you or YOU LOSE!
i make no apologies for using the cliched expression 'get over it', i also had a very tough upbringing, and still have to deal with the consequences of one persons actions but i havn't let it affect my life.





most probably, your mother loves you-no matter what she says or does to prove otherwise, if she diddn't care then she wouldn't let you stay under her roof. part of the reason you and your girlfriend split may be because of your negative attitude. you are the master of your own destiny, and just because you don't have a male role model to look up to doesn't mean your not a real man or are incapable, you have made it this far on your own havnt you?





my advice would be to look at the positive in your life and avoid focusing on the negative, there are millions of people who are far far worse off then you and still have the determination to keep going. also treat others how you would be treated, if you constantly show positivity towards your mother in time she will show affection of some sorts.





you are the master of you destiny, hope this helps
trace dad through internet search. Once he is found, take him to court for back child support and interest for alkali the years. Whatever you finalkly get the courts to take away froim your dad, forgive him for he is a menatl case, and then, take a lot of it and go into therapy. Also do THE Form, offered by Landmark Education Corporation. The fact is it will straighten out your negativity. You can have the life you want. Do not see any of it as a punishment, See it as an opportunity to test you, You have la ready passed the test. You are Young enough to reverse all of this.








Watch the move THE Count of Monte Cris to. He lost everything and all and reversed bad fir tune of years of false imprisonment., It can be done.