A horrible family life for me. I NEED advice, I'm falling apart, Please help me out. . I can't stand my family

Well... okay. here's the story.


I'm 15 and I understand if my parents don't trust me because I'm in Highschool and everything. But I only did ONE thing to make them completely not trust me. But ever since then, they won't let me do anything, or go anywhere. Plus it's summer so I'm basically with them ALL the time. I'm never gone. Usually I would yell at them all the time but now I don't. But lately it's like I've givin up. All this is making me just give up on soccer. I LOVE soccer, and today I just didn't show it in the game. So I'm REALLY depressed, %26amp; it really just seems like I've givin up on my life. What do I do? My mom used to be my BEST FRIEND, now even if I ask to go out to ice cream with friends, she says no. I have developed migranes all these past 2 months. But I don't tell them. I cannot stand living here anymore, what do I do?





Please answer, I'm desperate for some answers.


Thank You





P.S they wont let me stay at a friends house or anything so please don't suggest iA horrible family life for me. I NEED advice, I'm falling apart, Please help me out. . I can't stand my family
It sounds like they over-reacted to the ice cream incident. However, sounds like you have been really tough on them, too. You don't have a right to ever yell at your parents. Your butt should have been grounded when that started. It just doesn't sound like the ice cream situation was the only time you have been dishonest with your parents - it could even be little things where you ommitted information or wasn't entirely truthful. Basically, you blew it and they don't trust that you will tell them the truth. You can mope around and feel sorry for yourself, or you can grow up and start trying to EARN their trust back. Once you betray someone, this takes awhile, so make your room nice - sounds like you'll be spending time at home for awhile. Sorry you're not happy at home, but it appears that you made it that way for yourself. Stop blaming your parents - they obviously care about you and want you to be safe.A horrible family life for me. I NEED advice, I'm falling apart, Please help me out. . I can't stand my family
wht u first need to do is that call an emergency meeting with ur parents....talk to them......b open to them n make ur point clear %26amp; ask them for an explanation for their behaviour.....also tell them straight tht it is effecting ur love for soccer %26amp; more so...it is effecting ur health.......i hv migrains too....n i know the pain........make sure u keep urself calm talk to them n also tell them tht if it continues....u wud need to leave......n fend for ur self
call 1800 273 talk if u need advice. if u need a good buddy i am here dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. hang on
Hi,


It's tough to be a teen these days and trust is earned wherever you go. If your mom was your best friend, there's opportunity to sit down and talk to her.


Parents want to protect their kids...some overtly. Young daughters especially...it's called love.


Having to stay in the house while they get their wits about them, and to show you that they want you to be trustworthy, might last some time.


Communication is important.


Running away is not the answer...it's a big ugly world out there for runaway girls. Men prey on young innocent girls these days.


What you are going through is parents who don't know how to deal with your dishonesty and you don't see how scared you made them.


It's time for a sit down, heart to heart talk.


Be honest with them and they should be honest with you.


We as loving parents would love to lock up our daughters until they are married, but that is not the answer.


You need to realize that your innocense to what would have or could have happened, is no excuse to think you are being picked on. Put your feet in their shoes. They love you. They want to protect you from the dangers of this world.


You in turn need to be honest with them. Own up to what you did wrong and let them know that you understand their fears. However...you guys need to talk.


Locking you up in the house is not the answer.


In turn...you need to stay away from the boys, concentrate on your studies, girlfriends and youth.


You have so much ahead in life...your parents don't want you to get hurt.


Thank them, don't curse them...for caring about you. You will understand one day when you have your own daughter.
I'm a mom and I can tell you exactly what you did wrong.And I have a 15yr.old daughter too and we go through this ALL the time.It's not the fact that you went with your guy friend it's the fact that you did not call home and let your parents know that plans have changed with the people that you were supposed to be going out with. You broke down in the communication dept. there kid, that's all. You have to let your parents know what you are doing at all times and with whom because of the way the world is today. Period.


I do understand how you are feeling and why they put the restrictions so tightly on you, too. But mom did jump the gun there when she degraded your morality about what kind of a person you are. I'm sure your friend is just that, a friend. What you have to do to let mom and dad know how you are feeling is very simple. To you it may seem geeky or lame or however you may want to call it, but it is the best way to get your point across without starting a fight. And it was my teenager that came up with this idea too.


I had a huge fight with her in front of her friends and ended up embarrasing her very much. They stopped calling and teased her ungratefully on the bus and in school til she got to the point where she ended up having migraines and blowing up about everything little. She decided to get my attention by writing me a letter and putting it in my purse. In the letter she said that I was not to search her out or confront her until her personal inquiries were meet.And I do have to admit they were simple.


1. If you have to yell at me, take a 5 minute time out and cool off before you blow up.


2. Don't degrade me in front of my friends and do not do it to my face. Words hurt especially in a time of heated emotions where they hurt hte most.


3 Talk to me one on one and give advice as to how you want the rules and regulations followed. If plans or rules need to be changed due to unforseen circumstances, then let me know how to handle them your way.


4. Give me my space and let me make my own mistakes without sending me to the guiliteen.


5.As far as my interests in sexual inuendos, if you talk to me and get my opinion about how I feel about them, you'll find out alot more about me and my train of thought towards them than you could have ever imagined.


6. If I want to talk to you about anything at all you have to have an OPEN DOOR POLICY AT ALL TIMES FOR ME.


7.I'll take my punishments adn i won't like them but I am still getting the point of them either way.


8. I will respect you if you respect me and my feelings.


9. I will be sure to call and let you know where I am every half hour to hour if you want.If I want to go somewhere or be with people, I will make plans WITH YOU to make sure no details were left out and no plans were overlooked.


and finally,,,,


10. Tell me everyday that you will be up my butt and that you still love me and you plan on letting me know that you are always there for me no matter how mad I make you or how proud.


These were simple but effective in getting my eyes to open up.Keep to your guns if mom or dad want to freak on you.Tell them that you are going to your room and staying there until they can talk to you on a deent note eithout screaming and yelling.None of that works adn it's proven only to cause kids and parents to become more strained in their relationships.


Yes there will be times where you will have to bite the bullet and take things with a grain of salt as they say. BUT, take a deep breath and bite your patience.





Parents aren't the easiest ones to get along with.Sometimes my kids and their friends let me know when I get out of line.I had to rebiuld my friendship with my daughter too at one point and it was weird to have to do that.But your mom does need to give you an apology for what she said and interpreted to you about your friend. That was wrong and demoralizing even if she felt it was justified. It hurt youin the end, not her.


Take care and find ways of getting to open up the communication lines with your folks. Take little steps and pretty soon you will be back outside with your friends again. Good luck and hang in there. High school years are always the toughest on parents. Their fuses are alot shorter than you think.
wow, i can't believe your mom got mad at you because of that. well, anyway, fyi, im also 15. so i guess i can give you some advice. first of all, it is very understandable dat parents dont trust their kids when they go to high school, because thats when all the good kids turn to bad kids, meaning deceiving their parents and do other horrible stuff. Thats why your mother is very concerned with whom you are hanging out with and what you guys might be doing behind her back. Also, do not do anything foolish, such as doin things that will make your parents worrry about you even more, cuz that will only make them want to lock up in the house and keep an eye on you. Try to demonstrate to them so that it makes you look responsible. Responsiblilty is very important to parents, if they think you are responsible then they think you are mature enough to not do anything silly, which creates a stronger bond between you and your mom. Since you told me that you and your mom used to be best frds, then it shouldnt be dat hard to convince her that you are trustworthy.
Ok so you did not tell your mom....it is truly not that horrible. If that is all that happen then they need to give you a second chance. I would be pissed at my teens, maybe punish for a day or two but that is it. They need to move on and see how this is hurting you. Tell them!!!!
OK...let's chill a bit here.





This stuff is normal and you are not alone in having issues with your family. You can work through them and you will. Here are some thoughts:





1. If you are having migraines, please see a doctor. They may be caused by what's going down but they may not. They're serious and you need to get them checked out. Don't delay. Do it.





2. Sit down with your mom and ask to make a deal. Tell her you need to go out with your friends but you don't want to make her unhappy. Ask her what you have to do to get back on track with her so she'll trust you. Make a bargain with her...you keep your part, she keeps hers. Write it down on paper if you have to.





3. Remember that while this may be earth-shattering to you now, down the road it will seem like nothing. Don't be tempted to anything serious to wreck your relationship with your family. You will regret it deeply later if you do.





4. Like any other relationship, you only get back what you give. Smile. Tell her a joke. Bring her a flower. You'd be amazed at what that can do.





Hope this helps.