I need some serious advice about my love life, please help... I am so sad and depressed?

I am a gay 30 year old guy with a serious demanding career working in Europe.....





Back in the US I have a boyfriend of 6 years and I dont feel like I love him, I saw him this december when I went and I felt so much caring for him and when he left I was so sad that I got a massive headache and cried...... chances are I will never live with him again, just see him once every year or so.





here in Europe I met a guy like the guys I always wanted to me, my type of guy, I really like him and I feel like I am falling inlove with him; the problem is I'll leave europe in one year and back to the US





He also has a boyfriend in another country and like me, barely sees him, I think he feels the same for me, but I dont wanna fall inlove and then leave europe and have my heart destroyed





what should I do?





any advice? should I just never see him again?I need some serious advice about my love life, please help... I am so sad and depressed?
It sickens me that you would both cheat on your b/f's, and not do them a favor and dump them, so they can move on with their life.I need some serious advice about my love life, please help... I am so sad and depressed?
go with your heart.if you love the guy or you're falling in love then maybe you should give it a try. maybe you two could arrange something, like maybe he could move nearer to you or something(seeing as your job is demanding) i really don't know though but if you really don't feel much for the other guy then maybe it's time to move on.there's plenty of guys out there and you're still young! :)
Do what your Heart tells you to do..Thats the best compass..
So sorry to hear of your dilemma. The hardest thing is that you don't want everyone's feelings to be hurt - and that's an excellent quality. However, it's unrealistic. With such a hard decision, it's likely that feelings will get hurt. If you don't want to be with your boyfriend here in the states, you'll just have to tell him that. (be gentle, though). Or, perhaps, what the best thing is to just not have a significant other for now until you can settle somewhere. I know from past experience that long-distance relationships seldom work, and when you hang on to them for so long, it just turns out to be a big mess.





Really calculate your decision ... what do YOU want?





As for the guy in Europe .. maybe a strong friendship is as far as you should take it.... yes, you have strong feelings for one another, but at what cost?





What I would do is back off both guys and figure myself out first. Keep relationships on hold for the time being until you settle in one place for good. Having to go thither and yon all the time is just making the situation more complicated than it needs to be. Maybe if you explain this to both guys, they'll be adult enough to understand where you're coming from, and save those feelings from being hurt....





I hope things work out for you...





blessed be.
Whatever you do, don't cheat. Make it quite clear to all involved how you are feeling.
It doesnt matter your sexual orientation on this one... it is the tried and true long distance relationship blues.





Everything is better when it is in hand... like the person you like right now... you like him more because you are around him more. He can do things with you where your bf can't because of the distance.





It is a hard situation for everyone. Unless you really want to cheat, break it off with the dude in the states and give the guy in Europe a chance... but only if he is single too...





IMHO... I don't think either are right for you... so for now go with what will make you happy.
thats soooo mean manny.


jerk.


i think you should stay in europe with this guy or figure something out with him where you two can be together because it sounds like both of you dont really like your boyfriends much...
If you have told your old lover that you are breaking up with him, Just start immigration proceedings for your new friend.
You can not change your feelings, why stay alone if you are not leaving for a year?
Darling, think of yourself and how you feel, if you really like this new guy you owe it to the guy back home to tell him how you feel, spend time with this new guy.. you never know!!! just do it! don't think about the fact that you will be leaving.. he might come back with you.. or maybe you'll find something to do there.. just follow your heart hunny!
Well the thing you need to do is get off your butt and get her sometnig have with her and stop crying about it man. You 30 year old. If you not with her then go find somone else ok.
If you don't love your boyfriend in the US, you should let him move on with his life and find someone who he can be with that can reciprocate his love. He's probably basically waiting on you, and that's not fair to him.





As far as the guy in Europe, if you guys get together and he (or you) still has another love interest, then that could be considered cheating. If falling for him and then having to leave isn't something you want to do, I suggest you leave this guy alone.





You've got some tough decisions to make, but my suggestion would be to pour yourself into work and just stay casual friends with whomever for now. A year isn't that long, and you're basically going to be starting your life over once you settle somewhere again. Perhaps it's time to make a choice about the career, too? Is it time to make a lifetime commitment to someone and sacrifice the career moves a bit in order to be happy in your personal life? It doesn't sound like there's much balance between the two areas right now. Decide what you want ultimately in your life, then make your moves accordingly.
To be honest, I think this is all emotion based on convience. You said that when you saw your boyfriend over Christmas you had a lot of feelings for him and even cried when you guys parted. Only a few weeks later you've ';fallen in love'; with another man. I guarantee when you se your boyfriend again those feelings of love and commitment will come back. You have to decide if the relationship you have with your current boyfriend is worth ending for something that A: might not happen since this new man has a boyfriend and B: Will onyl be temporary, since you are moving back to the US.





Good luck
i think if you dont want to be with that guy you should tell him you dont want to be with him and then tell the other guy your story about how ur gonna leave in a year and that you dont want your heart broken
put your love on hold until you settle in one place.
No matter what you do, it'll be tough.





But a relationship cannot even be expected to survive with a once a year encounter. As painful as it will be, I would leave my US guy, and allow him to also find someone he can be with.





But I'm not sure about what you should do with the European guy. That's a gamble either way.
the only thing i can say to u is follow ur heart u can like someone care for someone.... but love is a different ball game if ur heart is tellin u that u love someone then go for it ...... u only live once... wats the worst that can happin i no ur eart may be broke but that can be healed in time . i think u should sit down an tell this person how u feel an who knows it could be the best thing that ever happened
What a tangled web you do weave!! Bless. Ok, do you like your career? Is it the sort of career that you could say you wanted to be based in one area or does it require you to go everywhere? I think what you need to figure out is what you want - career or love. Sounds like you can't have both with your career as you're moving round too much. Then, you need to figure out if you do want romance n love, then what sort of person do you want it with? If you don't think the bloke in the US is the one for you then it's only fair to tell him. You can then have fun with the bloke you've met in Europe without feeling guilty, and then destiny will take its course. If you're meant to end up with him then you will, if not, you'll meet someone else that will make you happy. Maybe sit down with ur Europe bloke and have a serious chat about what you both want and see what answers come up. Good luck xx
Your post is about your feelings.





The boyfriend in the US: ';I don't feel like I love him';.





In Europe: ';I feel like I am falling in love with him';. ';I think he feels the same for me.';





My gut feeling is that you no longer love the American and now love the European, but are scared of losing them both. I would quote something I heard years ago:-





';Sometimes you have to jump off a cliff and build your wings on the way down.';





Tell the European how you feel about him. Listen to his response carefully and then make your decision about whether you have a future together.





Good luck.
That is a hard question .... the problem you have isn't really a boyfriend problem... it's the fact that you keep moving. Is your job (I am guessing that is why you are moving around) important enough to give up on having a meaningful long term relationship- or a series of heart wrenching long distance relationships? I would really take a hard look at your career and decide if these love dilemmas are worth it. Maybe you can date this guy in Europe and if it is working out well, look for another job that will accomodate you better. Or see if he would ever move around with you.





It is a very hard decision... good luck