I am depressed because i am wasting my life. need encouragement and advice. please read. thanks?

ill try to keep this short....





im 19 and a soph. in college. i have one friend who i sometimes hang out with and she has a hard time keeping friends herself. we do really lame **** together go to a movie and basically bs with each other. i like her dont get me wrong. she said she could not talk for a while, but i havent heard from her in weeks. i do believe her, but i think 3 weeks is a long time to go without talking...





i hung out with a few other people i met in college but we do not hang out as much most likely because i am have nothing to talk about. i was kind of close to them but for some reason, their friends who i was introduced to i did not get close to. this is always the problem with me. i have social phobia and i for some reason cling to a few people.





anyway people do seem to want to get to know me and i have had people wanting to hang out with me and some others, but eventually they see i am ';shy'; and give up. i used to have a good childhood and then something, not terrible, happened before high school and i became depressed. although i think during junior high i was depressed and i am a person who by nature is just not that moved by things others are moved by. also, i had friends when i was younger and i guess i stopped making friends after fourth grade. i had acquaintances. i do realize that people bs and try to be perkier and happier than they are, but...





anyway i wasted my hs years and pretty much college years so far, although i have had some good times. i also btw made another friend during senior year in hs, but i clung to him instead of becoming close with his friends. we dont talk anymore.





***********im sorry if im babbling and if my info is all over the place. im tired, and upset. usually i know how to express myself through writing. i have learned a lot about myself and about self pity, which turns into depression, why i cling to people, ';social phobia'; and other personality disorders. yeah ive been through avoidant personality disorder, ocd, social phobia. all the same bs- low self esteem. sometimes i feel like even if im not thinking too much i have nothing to say. i think maybe i need to start a bunch of crap at once so that i have something to talk about. i cant expect to go out once in a while and make and then keep a lot of friends. i am so upset. i just need some encouragement and stories of yours thanks.****I am depressed because i am wasting my life. need encouragement and advice. please read. thanks?
Eh, I'm bored I'll take a crack at it for best answer.





-A lil bit of my story-





Personally I've never been the social type, when I was younger I was shy and I made a best friend in pre-K and we went to the same school till middle then I got kicked out of my middle school in 7th grade, my social life came to an end. I had friends in my neighborhood still, but they moved, went to jail ect ect. Not only that I had to move 10 miles away... so it made it even harder to chill with my friends. I started playing an MMORPG (which i currently still play) to make up for the loss of social contact. Now, I got over to my best friend Jennifers house. She still lives in my old neighborhood. I go every weekend and I practically live there. Without her I would have no reason to go outside.





Anyway all the friends I have, I have because of Jennifer, which isn't really a bad thing. I just got lucky.





-Tips for you-





Uh.... well, um, let's see..You want to be more social and you want some close friends? I'll try to answer this well, don't know if I can.


Go to places you like to hang out (bar, club, arcade, cafe, w/e) Find people who have similar interests as you and start up a conversation, exchange opinions, ideas, goals w/e you want to talk about. Don't be afraid to be harsh and truthful because the more real you are to people the better friendship you can make so you don't have to hide your true self. It might take a while before you can find actual ';good'; friends but once you do, you'll know.





-Options-





If you aren't the kind of person who likes to go out and do the things mentioned above then... there's always the internet :D Buy an MMORPG, join secondlife, imvu, lurk on 4chan!


You're currently in college? Well, I don't know much about the social circumstances there, just be yourself, maybe other people like you will wanna be your friend and come to talk to you. Who knows?... I don't know if this is going to help but I felt like answering with a really long answer. Haha, good luck.





I'm 15 btw. Sooo.. Idk how much this will help.





(Last note, drugs help with social awkwardness! But considering the fact that your in college, and prolly aren't familiar with illegal drugs, I don't suggest that.)I am depressed because i am wasting my life. need encouragement and advice. please read. thanks?
All you have to do is be yourself. I know that's a little lame to say, but its true. People want to hang out with you, all you have to do is let them. Life is short, you're in college, LIVE IT UP! College is a time to reinvent yourself into whoever you want to be. I know how you fell and i know it can be hard. My mom was an alcoholic most of my life but i didn't realize it until about 7th or 8th grade, lieing for her and hiding the truth and taking care of my little sister became my life and i didn't like it. I became depressed also, and learned who my true friends were, the ones that stuck with me and helped me threw it. High school became my reinventing point, just get out there, and remember, you only live once. Don't not live because you afraid.
You say you ';i have nothing to talk about.'; in the second pp of your question. I think you have good insight into your emotional status. Social anxiety can be treated via appropriate psychotrophic mediation. You are so young and I hope you find your way to a happier life. Children. A long term relationship. Actually, you are sensitive to others and in touch with your feellings. I would discourage you from seeking talk therapy. A qualified psychiatrist with a focus on social anxiety disorders are available to you. When I was in school, I had most of the symptoms you report. I completed a professional school education but drank excessive amounts of alcohol to make myself likeable. Now, I find myself sober but isolated from the world. My holiday wish is that you seek the professional attention that I failed to seek when I was your age. It is my firm conviction that targeted biochemical therapy would right your ship. You deserve a better life.
Concentrate on your studies and especially on English and writting. You're young and should have plenty of time to meet and make friends. Some of our most creative people were or still are shy and had a hard time meeting people. You may be one of those creative people. Don't resort to alcohol or drugs and don't use your body in an attempt to induce people to be your friend. Remain open to others and you will gain friends to hang with. Don't try to pick just one or two people, be friendly and open to everyone. Friends will chose you and then you can chose from among them for a more lasting friendship. Most of all realize that you make your own world and you set the rules. Just don't try to demand too much nor expect too much from others. Get out there and live.
There are sooo many people like you! I am one of them so don't worry. There are lots of support groups on the web for people with social phobias.They are mostly free and you can make a lot of friends who are in the same position as you. One of my best friends is a girl I met online, we hang out all the time now and we don't have to be fake about anything. Good luck with life! :]
wow, you really let loose here! But I understand completely I'm a shy one my self! Has something to do w/ mommy issues personally my mother ingrained into me fear. Fear of what other people think of you while your speaking, fear of million possibilities. this may not be helpful but, one day I just didn't give a **** any more. Cant explain it any better way!
You are only 19 and a sophomore. You have plenty of time to decide what you want to study and then set out to do so. Select a few majors in which you are interested, talk to a guidance counselor to work out a program, and good luck!
You are not wasting your life. you are just realizing that time is passing by and you are missing out. First of all.. you need to seek counsel. It does help. NOW.. you need to work somewhere.. even if a few hours a week.. ( like dunkin donuts or starbucks where you have to meet and greet and talk to people. Believe me, the ice will break.. it's only small talk as you may not have time.. but talking about the weather briefly will help. Eventually, you will become more social but you really need to talk to someone about the incident that happened in the past as well. You should be having the time of your life in college.. you need to help yourself and please do what you can to improve that.