Need some advice about sorting my life out!!?

Im 19 years old and seem to be making a mess of everything. I'll try explain what i mean without writing a HUGE essay.





I used to 'self harm' on and off from the age of about 11 to 18 years old. I've always been a nightmare with alcohol (generally drinking untill i pass out, puke, fall over ect). Don't have much self confidence and am quite shy in large groups, isolated myself for weeks at a time in the past and just refuse to go out. Generally i've not always done so well in life and wouldnt considered my last few years to be 'happy' atall.





I'm sounding a bit dramatic, sorry, i do realise it could be much worse but i just hav a horrible feeling about things now.





Anyway i got professional help for the self harm thing just over a year ago and my dr asked me to go to an alcohol problem clinic because i was in great danger of badly damaging my liver (casue i drank from such a young age and something to do with the blood tests). She also arranged councelling once a week for the self harm and i was going to see her about once every two/three weeks to see how things were.





Everything did start to improve and although i was still drinking far too much i did manage to stop the self harm early this year. My drinking also did decrease slightly and i've been managing to control how much i consumed (not getting to the point of passing out).





I went away for 3 months at the beginning of this year and broke my wrist whilst away so havn't been able to go back to work (therefor nothing to do with my life).


This week i've been far far too drunk on two occasions and this has scared me. I don't feel in control any more, my emotions are all over the place and i've just been randomly bursting into tears.





What can i do now?! I want things to go back to how they were when it was all improving. I still havnt self harmed but feel the way i did when i used to.





How can i fix all this?! I'll be seeing the councellor again next week and the alcohol Dr in a couple days, i think they'l be really dissapointed...i am!





My spellcheck isn't work and i'm typing with one hand (broken wrist) and generally cant spell anyway so sorry for this.





Any advice appreciated!Need some advice about sorting my life out!!?
Did you grow up with out one parent and did they fight. It would be hard to believe you grew up in a strong family with great values. I sure there was drinking going on with adults around you. You are definitely suffering from alcohol addiction. You would need a place to go where there is none and someone be there for you at least one year. Each change of season will trigger feelings including full moons and night life.





I myself have simalar problems because i did not grow up at home. I was able to quite smoking and thank God I am not able to drink much. Today I am helping a very bright 12 year old and her mother. We share Past family connections and we both have to stay away from drinking. Helping children helps me with all the things you are writing about. Please take some family classes at a local college and you will find life much more fun. :)Need some advice about sorting my life out!!?
You must do a thorough and fearless moral inventory of your life and forgive yourself in order to properly correct. The best way to do this is with the 12 step of AA. All other programs are approximations of AA.





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step鈥?/a>
well i would say,find something your passionate about.or something that makes you happy that isn't harmful to you.like a sport,or art.you can set a goal and start improving again.but never stop at the goal,keep getting better and better
I don't have any advice, because I couldn't imagien how you must feel, but I genuinely hope everything works out for you.


Just remmember, if you BELIEVE, firmly BELIEVE you can do it. You CAN. I soudn nuts, but I'm serious.


:D stay cheerie!
You must stop punishing yourself for what's not your fault, life is bad enough for you without you making it worse. I know it's hard to stop being self destructive when life has given you nothing but lemons, you must continue trying.





Things can't get any worse than it has been for you unless you give up, you wont because deep down you have what it takes to survive.





Don't be ashamed of falling down, every one falls down even the best of us.Not getting up and trying is shameful.





For things to get back to the way they were you must get back to the way you were that made you do better.Let it all out ,cry and then get back to getting your life on track by keeping your dr appointments and so forth.





There is more than one way to self harm give them all up and you will be all you can be to yourself and others. Good luck and keep up the fight you can win and grow with the struggle..