I feel so unsettled in my life...please...I need advice as it is distressing me.?

I feel so unsettled in my life. Im a woman in her mid 40s, but look in my early 30s thank goodness. I have great physical health and good friends. The problem is that I am burnt out from a very exacting career. As well as that, I have not had great luck in my love life. I still have not met a guy that I would like to stay with even though I have had a couple of long term relationships. I really need love in my life and am worried that I will just have to live without it. I am thinking of taking up a new passtime but I have done all of these things before and the problem seems to reappear, where I meet a guy (usually much younger) who is into me but I am afraid to let go for fear that he just wants to use me for experience. How do I improve my self esteem and confidence? Also, how do I change career to something more manageable? I travel lots to get away from the 'settled' life of some of my friends..I can't handle it as I am not in this situation.I feel so unsettled in my life...please...I need advice as it is distressing me.?
have a long holiday and travel ,meet new people ,enjoy life now ,or you will remain in a rut ...good luck ..!!!!!!I feel so unsettled in my life...please...I need advice as it is distressing me.?
I know this may seem like a strange answer, but I feel you should check out books by Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Brian Weiss, Doreen Virtue or Louise L. Hay. Even better, go into your local bookshop and pick up an inspirational book that catches your eye. Sounds like you deserve a real pick-me-up (no pun intended!).





Guided meditations (CD) help ground you and make you feel more settled too. The more still you become and the more you allow your mind to open, the easier you will receive guidance on which path to take next.





I feel for you and I hope that helps. Things will surely pick up for you soon.
hey girl, chill out, you sound a bit stressed.


look at the situation with a bit of common sense, rather than ripping into yourself.


you are obviously an intelligent woman, with a career, you still look good, your friends are all settled and you have reached the point where you feel it's time for you to be the same.


you can mix a career with a relationship if you stop being critical of other peoples motives,


younger men may like the fact that they have an experienced woman, thats no lie and they may one day disappear into the great blue yonder, when you are a bit older and they are reaching the point that you are now at.


However, not everyone is the same (cliche) and sometimes as you know by your career, you have to take risks.


it's no good being full on in your work life and reticent in your private life. maybe you should change the two around and let go.


You know it makes sense.


cheers
If your job is stressing you out and you can afford to change and have transferable skills, then this is the first thing you should do. With work stress removed you will start to feel more relaxed and your confidence will return. I looked into a career change a year ago and found myself a careers councillor. She worked with me to identify my transferable skills and the type of things I would want to do and I was really amazed how much better I felt about myself. (I was then made redundant and I am now doing a home learning course in IT, but I'm a lot less stressed than I used to be - even with no job at present I'm still feeling positive for the future which was unthinkable 18 months ago!)





Then, with a little bit of confidence and more time (cos you've you won't be travelling so much) you can look at joining something like your local amateur dramatic society- -there's nothing like performing in a show to boost self confidence! Obviously there are other things you could do backstage that don鈥檛 involve performing. Or you could join a yoga class or fitness club - exercise does wonders for fighting off depression and increasing self confidence (no good if you're a lazy sod like me, though!)





So with a new, less stressful job and a new hobby you should feel better about yourself. You will also be meeting new people through your hobby and you never know, he might just be around that corner!





Only you can change your situation, but once you make your mind up to do it, it's (relatively) easy!





The best of luck to you.
Love is a great action when it begins with self sharing it through out the world...expand your thinking. Having the capability of being able to love can change many people's lives including children. Giving of your time can sometimes change an individual's state of despair, hopelessness, opression...etc...Imagine a child wanting and needing someone to make them laugh, a hug to hold on to hope and praise to beleive in their future dream/s.


Volunteer work is an option, at many needed places in our society. Improving ones self-esteem begins with confidence in self wanting and creating a better world each and every day. Think of your abilities, and pursuit your passion/s and challenge your creativity. Continue taking care of your great physical health, while focusing on your mental health. That said, it would be a good idea to go in for a medical check up, to address your present state of stress and/or anxieties. Depression may be part of what you are experiencing and/or perhaps a chemical inbalance is also a possibility, but can only be diagnosed and/or treated by your family physician. Pertaining to changing career/s, again seek your passion...travel seems to be an element you enjoy, therefore keep that in mind. There are endless possibilities and opportunities open to you...however, I would suggest taking time out for self, for rest...rest of the mind, and the body to rejuvenate thy self, so to speak. Change is on your horizon...therefore think very creatively, consider trying new things you've put off for what ever the reason/s. That would be adventure in itself. Remain confident in building new friendship/s along the way...smile with confidence, it's always a welcoming feature to the world that awaits you as you participate in life, making it all it can be...just for you...dare to dream...reach for the stars! We all have that hidden child in us...sometimes we just forget how to have fun! Hope that helps, best to you...and here's to cheering you on! Thanks for asking.
MIDLIFE CRISIS!!!
I dont want to sound rude at all but try meeting someone closer to your age and perhaps someone who does the same kind of work as you so you wouldnt have the worry of someone using you for experience. Try to relax and is there any way you can cut your hours of work so you can go out more often to meet new people?Good luck with your future.
Being that your age is mid 40...i think you should try a little harer to find love if that is what you want. Because i dont mean to sound rude, but that sort of stuff starts to get harder the older you get. You say you look younger, which is a good thing. Maybe take a long leave of absence from your work and go to places that have single men haha. Though being unsettled could be a good thing, love and everything that you say your lacking does get rid of some freedom that you may want to keep.


Best of luck though
Get a life coach or a therapist... I have found mine very useful.





We have 3 businesses 2 kids and a hubby and I am suffering extreme stress etc... from complications in one of the businesses...





The new pastime is a great idea. Will changing your job/career really achieve what you want it to? Why not study partime in a subject that you really find interesting? Then you can move into a new career from that - if you really enjoy it.





What are you passionate about?





Stop focussing on the guy - it will either happen or not. It's always when you stop looking that the good ones turn up isn't it? Ask your girlfriends they'll tell you the same thing.





I still reckon the life coach is a great idea...
Try and work out why you need the attention of younger men and why you go for relationships that you know won't work. Do you feel you don't deserve a man to love you? The fact that you burn yourself out at work too shows you are avoiding dealing with some issues from your past where you have been deeply hurt, either from a relationship or from when you were a child when you may have felt abandoned. Now you distract yourself with work and finish relationships quickly before they can and choose men that you can tell yourself weren't right to justify why you did. Its very sad and I hope you find peace. Find a job you enjoy, treat yourself like you want to be treated by men and life will look a lot rosier.
How would you change your career?quit your job and find another that will give you more freedom.No pain no gain.