I no that there are always people worse off than you but i really feel like my life is falling apart!
i started two weeks ago when my sister died...im 18 years old and im really struggling to come to terms with it. as his next of kin my two year old nephew has been left in my care, im not complaining about this because i love him so much, my son is also two years old...there is three weeks between the both and they get on well.
since his mum died tho he has understandably become very distressed! He screams for mummy all the time and gets upset when people try to do things for him, i know he is too young to understand but this is really putting stress on me and my boyfriend,
by son was diagnosed with leukaemia LARSt week and is inhospitall, im having to taking time off college and my boyfriend, (my sons dad) is taking time off work...
im finding it really hard to deal with looking after my nephew but idon'tt want him to go into care as i know its what my sister would have wanted, i just really really want to help him but h0w can you explain to a two year old that mummyisn'tt coming back?
im also finding it hard to cope with my son being so sick, he is really poorly and full of wires snaking in and out of him and he just lies still all the time, ihaven'tt seen his huge smile for what seems like a lifetime,
all this and trying to cope with my sisters death is really stressing me out! i really cant cope, i want to help my nephew and my son but being such an emotional wreck is going to effect them and im going to make things worse...it just feels like things can never get better
please please any advice would be really apprishiated!
thanks MY LIFE IS A WRECK!!! any advice on how to cope please?
Wow! You have a lot on your plate!
I'm very sorry about the death of your sister and I'm sorry that your son is ill.
Your nephew is grieving. Even a child as young as he is, can feel loss and grieve for that. His reactions are normal. But he does need help, too. Have you looked into play therapy for young children? It's a speciality that helps children cope with issues in their lives by acting them out in play.
Are there any other family members that can assist you? You need some support and it's time to rally your friends and relatives. You have a sick child and are undoubtedly still grieving for your sister as well.
Best of luck to you!MY LIFE IS A WRECK!!! any advice on how to cope please?
I would say go and get some advice from a grieve counsellor, this I feel would be the way that you can get some help for all of you. You have an awful lot to deal with and just talking to someone who knows what you are going through could help.
God bless, be strong x
Umm well i think you made a big mistake you said it feels like things cant ever get better. From your description of the the situation things cant get much worse! I don't know what else to say other than keep positive and don't give up...
Get your nephew into therapy. Even though he is so young it can still help him to cope with all the feelings he's having.
sorry youre going thru this, he wont be scared for life.
just love him and hug him. Maybe see if theres anyone that deals with toddler grief in your area.
stay strong hun, life is full of challenges, even though it might seem like you'll never get through this, you will!
GO ABROAD!!! escape all of your worries it works!!!
Hon, he is not going to understand where Mommy went. Call Hospice and ask for Grief counseling for all of you.
Tell them it is an emergency and you need to be seen as soon as possible because there is a minor child at risk.
n the meanwhile, hug, him, love him and tell him ou miss his mommy too.
First, I think you need to accept that you ARE your nephew's new mommy. There would be nothing wrong with him calling you mommy eventually. He is so young that you will be the only mommy he will really ever know. He really needs to be loved like a parent would love their child. He deserves that.
I am very sorry for all the trials you are going through right now. What helps me to get through trials is to know that God is in control and to know that He uses all things for good. Somehow, he does. No matter how bad something seems, he will use it for good, and just knowing this, can be a comfort. Also knowing that He has full control and it's not within my control, also helps. But, that said, I can't imagine my child being diagnosed with Lukemia. That would be difficult in itself, but then to also be dealing with the grief of your sister's death and all the grief and emotions that must well up when your nephew cries for his mom. That would be absolutely heart breaking to hear. All you can do for him is love him and hold him and comfort him. He will stop crying for soon, and that will be heartbreaking in and of itself, when he does.
I hope that everyone that reads your post says a prayer for you and your family. I pray that God has mercy on you and that He will lead you to understand why it is that you are going through these trials. I pray for peace for you and your family. I pray for God's will to be done in your lives.
Please know that you are never alone. God is there. He is always there and He is wanting for you to turn to Him for help with dealing with these trials.
God Bless You.
on trying to tell your nephew about his mum, go to a bookstore! unlikely, i know, but people write specific books to help explain situations and they can explain that his mummy is in the sky with the angels and that she'll always be with him? could there be something that will remind him of her that he could use for comfort in the beginning? im nearly 17 and would have no idea how to cope in your situation, i assuming you are doing your a2's? you need to call upon your family and charities so you can get through this, that is what they are there for!
good luck and i hope your baby is going to be okay.
Oh my, you do have a lot to deal with!. Please ask for professional help, grief counseling for you and your nephew, and ask other family members for physical help with childcare.
I am so sorry that you so much to cope with, but accept any help offered and ride out the storm.
im sorry to hear this but things will get better even if they seem like they wont. I know you want to be there for your boys but it sounds like you also need some time to relax. i would always assure your nephew and son that they are loved and will always be. You can always get help from your doctors, they will talk to you and offer services that will possibly teach you how to cope better for your children. Theres going to be no easy way to explain to your nephew about his mum, but your sisters gonna be proud of you for trying your best. Be strong, things will be better.
I don't know what to say other than I think that you are an amazing woman for taking your nephew. Things will eventually get better. Look for a support group that you can go to, mabey see the doctor for some help to get you through this difficult time. I would put your nephew in daycare during the day so that you can concentrate on your son. My prayers rae with you and your family x x
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Two life problems that I need advice on?
Hi, I have two problems that pertain to life in general and would like some advice. Every time I try to bring up either of the problems, my mom tells me I am being ridiculous, and maybe I am. Problem 1: I think I might have OCD and it's beginning to make me very unhappy. I have to wear my hair the same way everyday, with the same hair tie. I can only change things, like the shoes I wear on certain days of the week. I have the same morning routine everyday. If I drive off the path just a little bit, I have this overwhelming fear that I will have a bad day. I have to make my lunch, the exact same way everyday. Everything in my room has to be eaxactly where it was when I woke up. I have to wear the same Pajama's every night. They have to have Dogs on them. The change on my nightstand has to be in a perfect C or I can't sleep. This is just an example of my OCD problems. But see, I want to wear my hair differently and I want to be able to be different every day if I like. I would like to wear differnt Pajama's than the same ones over and over. I won't take medication and my mom does not think it's a problem. She just think's I am overly organized.
My second problem is that I am an overachiver. I have has all A's and 1 B since 4th grade. I am in 11th grade now and it's changed so much. I have 2 college classes, one of which I have a B. But I also have a B in my Algebra 2 Honors class and Chemistry Honors too. I can't stand that I have 3 B's and the rest are A's. My mom and brothers tell me that it's fine but no matter how many times I try to explain it, they refuse to believe me that it's not. To me, that is like the end of the world. How can I get them to understand? Especially since science has always been my strongest subject and now it's one of my weakest! I don't know what to do. I feel like I have 20 things crashing down on me at once. Plus my oldest brother is causing all kinds on mayhem in my family. I need advice on what to do! Please anything you can say I will take to heart. Please someone help me! Thanks so much!Two life problems that I need advice on?
You're a perfectionist living in an imperfect world and thats really hard. Elements of this look like and may be OCD only a therapist can diagnose you. My concern is the pressure you are placing yourself under.My advice is see your school counsellor and be as open and upfront about these issues as you have been here.
best wishesTwo life problems that I need advice on?
Hi,
i have few comments :
1. about dress style, lunch style, and path to school, you might want to try something new, maybe in due course you may find something you like or something interesting....but don't try too hard, just take it easy...:)
2. i think it is good to be a overachiever, but, remember to take a break from time to time, remember it is called ';re-creation';....to renew yourself...
i wish you success..
Relax and start thinking about the future. Yours looks very bright. Prepare yourself for it. Change and flexibility are the earmarks of a very successful person. With your brains -- you are so smart --- use your brains!!!
Meditate: Close your eyes as you sit on your bed or the floor. Think about a beautiful ocean and palm trees. Get one of those nature noise DVD's or clock radio. Put that on in the background and leave a small night lite on. Let everything GO...Let your mind be free....You are ok. You will be ok...
After about 5 to 20 minutes of this slowly go back to doing homework or better yet, go to sleep with a calm mind.
Do this for a week a little more time each time. I think this will help...
My second problem is that I am an overachiver. I have has all A's and 1 B since 4th grade. I am in 11th grade now and it's changed so much. I have 2 college classes, one of which I have a B. But I also have a B in my Algebra 2 Honors class and Chemistry Honors too. I can't stand that I have 3 B's and the rest are A's. My mom and brothers tell me that it's fine but no matter how many times I try to explain it, they refuse to believe me that it's not. To me, that is like the end of the world. How can I get them to understand? Especially since science has always been my strongest subject and now it's one of my weakest! I don't know what to do. I feel like I have 20 things crashing down on me at once. Plus my oldest brother is causing all kinds on mayhem in my family. I need advice on what to do! Please anything you can say I will take to heart. Please someone help me! Thanks so much!Two life problems that I need advice on?
You're a perfectionist living in an imperfect world and thats really hard. Elements of this look like and may be OCD only a therapist can diagnose you. My concern is the pressure you are placing yourself under.My advice is see your school counsellor and be as open and upfront about these issues as you have been here.
best wishesTwo life problems that I need advice on?
Hi,
i have few comments :
1. about dress style, lunch style, and path to school, you might want to try something new, maybe in due course you may find something you like or something interesting....but don't try too hard, just take it easy...:)
2. i think it is good to be a overachiever, but, remember to take a break from time to time, remember it is called ';re-creation';....to renew yourself...
i wish you success..
Relax and start thinking about the future. Yours looks very bright. Prepare yourself for it. Change and flexibility are the earmarks of a very successful person. With your brains -- you are so smart --- use your brains!!!
Meditate: Close your eyes as you sit on your bed or the floor. Think about a beautiful ocean and palm trees. Get one of those nature noise DVD's or clock radio. Put that on in the background and leave a small night lite on. Let everything GO...Let your mind be free....You are ok. You will be ok...
After about 5 to 20 minutes of this slowly go back to doing homework or better yet, go to sleep with a calm mind.
Do this for a week a little more time each time. I think this will help...
My life is a soap opera.. advice please?
So, for almost three years, I had been in this on and off relationship with my ex. We finally broke it off because he decided he wanted to sleep with my best friend behind my back. I played my part though.. I kept teasing him and pushing him away. It wasn't until I finally lost him that my heart completely shattered and I realized I don't want to live without him.
Now, he is dating my other best friend and they've been together for almost two months. I am extremely jealous and I can barely stand to be around them. Even after everything he has done to me, I still want him. He knows me better than anyone else and we just.. work. I don't know if it's possible for me to be in love with someone at my age but right now, it's the worst feeling in the world not having him.
I don't want him to leave her for me and I know he won't but she doesn't even want to be with him and he's told me that he still wants to be with me too.
Ugh.My life is a soap opera.. advice please?
Well, why don't you sleep with him, while he's dating your best friend. That way you get even, and have fun.My life is a soap opera.. advice please?
I wonder why your friend is with him. Dont be mad, but maybe, just maybe, could you have confused love with dependance? When we think of love at least me, I think of healthy relationship where no games are played and you are loved back. But in dependance, we are addicted to someone and we want them no matter how they treat us. I don't think that is love. I think that we can become addicted and dependant on people. But in true love, you don't become a door mat. or scacrifice yourself for any tiny bit the other might give you.
If your life is a soap opera, just turn the channel. life is a journey not a destination
unless you take yourself out of the situation, you obviously secretly enjoy the drama. i would never hang out with a guy i dig if he's doing my best friend. i find that when i take drama out of my life, there is none to begin with.
Now, he is dating my other best friend and they've been together for almost two months. I am extremely jealous and I can barely stand to be around them. Even after everything he has done to me, I still want him. He knows me better than anyone else and we just.. work. I don't know if it's possible for me to be in love with someone at my age but right now, it's the worst feeling in the world not having him.
I don't want him to leave her for me and I know he won't but she doesn't even want to be with him and he's told me that he still wants to be with me too.
Ugh.My life is a soap opera.. advice please?
Well, why don't you sleep with him, while he's dating your best friend. That way you get even, and have fun.My life is a soap opera.. advice please?
I wonder why your friend is with him. Dont be mad, but maybe, just maybe, could you have confused love with dependance? When we think of love at least me, I think of healthy relationship where no games are played and you are loved back. But in dependance, we are addicted to someone and we want them no matter how they treat us. I don't think that is love. I think that we can become addicted and dependant on people. But in true love, you don't become a door mat. or scacrifice yourself for any tiny bit the other might give you.
If your life is a soap opera, just turn the channel. life is a journey not a destination
unless you take yourself out of the situation, you obviously secretly enjoy the drama. i would never hang out with a guy i dig if he's doing my best friend. i find that when i take drama out of my life, there is none to begin with.
Still life...do u have an advice?
Hi there...I need to take some pictures of cameras for a cine-rental company that will be used for a depliant.
This means that the kind of pictures I have to take are simple and explicative rather than artistic.
Still i'm thinking about a very soft and uniform light.
I actually never shot a still life..so the only thing I know I'm gonna use for sure is a big piece of white paper ( solid paper ) for the background and my two nikon sb800 as a source of light.
Do u know any technique? Do u have any idea about how to place the light ?...how to diffuse it ?...What lens should i use ? or do u know any site/ video that explains how to do this kind of pictures?
any advice is good thxStill life...do u have an advice?
A lightbox http://digital-photography-school.com/ho鈥?/a> .
This means that the kind of pictures I have to take are simple and explicative rather than artistic.
Still i'm thinking about a very soft and uniform light.
I actually never shot a still life..so the only thing I know I'm gonna use for sure is a big piece of white paper ( solid paper ) for the background and my two nikon sb800 as a source of light.
Do u know any technique? Do u have any idea about how to place the light ?...how to diffuse it ?...What lens should i use ? or do u know any site/ video that explains how to do this kind of pictures?
any advice is good thxStill life...do u have an advice?
A lightbox http://digital-photography-school.com/ho鈥?/a> .
I REALLY need advice from people with more life experience please?
I am 21, and think I have either depression, or just anxiety, but I am on and off like a light switch. I am always stressing out about the future and have a really hard time being happy in the present. At what age do you just become comfortable and stop worrying about these things?
I am in college and about to graduate, am in a relationship with someone I love (but we are long distance right now), but all I can think about is how unhappy and empty I feel with my life most the time. I am grateful for my life, but I am always so stressed and anxious.
DO these feelings go away...? Or do I need professional help?I REALLY need advice from people with more life experience please?
Despairing anxiety is a form of depression.
Can you get to the root of your fears? don't worry,
Good nutrition might help your moods.
We can never be totally free of stress in life. Actually, it can be good motivation. We do choose whether or not to worry, try thinking good thoughts, and have some faith: you can't be responsible for stuff you can't control.
How much is the separation causing you anxiety? How long have you been long-distance?
I think you do need help. Start taking little vacations from worrying, just say right now, I'm not going to think any negative thoughts. I'm not going to stress, just for now. Then see how it feels a lot better.I REALLY need advice from people with more life experience please?
they only stay with you if you're lucky.
If you're unlucky, you fall asleep (metaphorically, of course) and you live your entire life in imagination.
You need to learn meditation techniques so that you may master yourself instead of bobbing around like a cork. Seriously! These things do not go away. We master them and render them inert. Be well!
i feel the same way as you do but im a senior in high school.
perhaps we just have small disorders, small stress disorders of whatever type.
but i feel like i just hate my life and would rather reverse than move into the future. but thats not my choice, that cant happen.
but all I can think about is how unhappy and empty I feel with my life most the time. I am grateful for my life, but I am always so stressed and anxious.
i feel like that alot. its been maybe a year or less that i been feeling this way. and theres a partial reason behind it.
what im saying is, how long have you ben feeling this way?
a very long time, maybe you need a doc
but just a short while. then just let it pass.
ride it out
youre about to graduate college soon, thats amazing!
wellgood luck.
you can always email me.
Do you need professional help? We're in no position to answer that question, but this commonly-used screening test, which tells you what your score means, might shed some light on the question.
http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/c鈥?/a>
Of the different approaches to therapy, I have a bias in favor of cognitive-behavioral therapy. There is a tremendous amount of research on it, because its the easiest psychotherapy to study scientifically. If it's not the best, its cost-effectiveness is certainly impressive, and also its versatility.
The Handbook of Self-Help Therapies offers evidence from clinical studies that show reading cognitive therapy books to be, with certain problems, about as good as seeing a therapist. This is true of the work of David D. Burns.
The Feeling Good Handbook by Burns is also the book most often recommended for depression by mental health professionals. It has the Burns' advice on anxiety.
At Oxford University, researchers combined cognitive therapy with an ancient meditation method that we call mindfulness. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy has worked as well as antidepressants in preventing relapse after depression. These researchers have written a popular book, The Mindful Way Through Depression.
The Depression Cure by Dr. Stephen Ilardi explains the University of Kansas depression program Therapeutic Lifestyle Change.
http://www.psych.ku.edu/tlc/Therapeutic%鈥?/a>
The Handbook of Self-Help Therapies says that some popular books for insomnia are based on proven self-help principles, such as Can't Sleep, Can鈥檛 Stay Awake: A Woman鈥檚 Guide to Sleep Disorders by Meir Kryger.
When the topic of stress comes up, I often suggest finding a book on chronic pain management, one written for healthcare providers. Of course, you can find lots of information with Google and the key words stress management or stress reduction.
I am wondering if you are under TOO MUCH stress. Have you taken on more credits than you can handle right now? Is it the stress of graduation perhaps? It may be a difficult adjustment to have your bf far away. I suggest that you may want to see a therapist to rule out clinical depression but off hand it sounds like you have circumstances that would set you into situational depression which is brought on by all the changes and stress building things in your life. In which case, your emotions will probably go back to a normal range after graduation. If they don't, by all means see a Professional. Its very wise of you to ask and consider it a possibility.
I am in college and about to graduate, am in a relationship with someone I love (but we are long distance right now), but all I can think about is how unhappy and empty I feel with my life most the time. I am grateful for my life, but I am always so stressed and anxious.
DO these feelings go away...? Or do I need professional help?I REALLY need advice from people with more life experience please?
Despairing anxiety is a form of depression.
Can you get to the root of your fears? don't worry,
Good nutrition might help your moods.
We can never be totally free of stress in life. Actually, it can be good motivation. We do choose whether or not to worry, try thinking good thoughts, and have some faith: you can't be responsible for stuff you can't control.
How much is the separation causing you anxiety? How long have you been long-distance?
I think you do need help. Start taking little vacations from worrying, just say right now, I'm not going to think any negative thoughts. I'm not going to stress, just for now. Then see how it feels a lot better.I REALLY need advice from people with more life experience please?
they only stay with you if you're lucky.
If you're unlucky, you fall asleep (metaphorically, of course) and you live your entire life in imagination.
You need to learn meditation techniques so that you may master yourself instead of bobbing around like a cork. Seriously! These things do not go away. We master them and render them inert. Be well!
i feel the same way as you do but im a senior in high school.
perhaps we just have small disorders, small stress disorders of whatever type.
but i feel like i just hate my life and would rather reverse than move into the future. but thats not my choice, that cant happen.
but all I can think about is how unhappy and empty I feel with my life most the time. I am grateful for my life, but I am always so stressed and anxious.
i feel like that alot. its been maybe a year or less that i been feeling this way. and theres a partial reason behind it.
what im saying is, how long have you ben feeling this way?
a very long time, maybe you need a doc
but just a short while. then just let it pass.
ride it out
youre about to graduate college soon, thats amazing!
wellgood luck.
you can always email me.
Do you need professional help? We're in no position to answer that question, but this commonly-used screening test, which tells you what your score means, might shed some light on the question.
http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/c鈥?/a>
Of the different approaches to therapy, I have a bias in favor of cognitive-behavioral therapy. There is a tremendous amount of research on it, because its the easiest psychotherapy to study scientifically. If it's not the best, its cost-effectiveness is certainly impressive, and also its versatility.
The Handbook of Self-Help Therapies offers evidence from clinical studies that show reading cognitive therapy books to be, with certain problems, about as good as seeing a therapist. This is true of the work of David D. Burns.
The Feeling Good Handbook by Burns is also the book most often recommended for depression by mental health professionals. It has the Burns' advice on anxiety.
At Oxford University, researchers combined cognitive therapy with an ancient meditation method that we call mindfulness. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy has worked as well as antidepressants in preventing relapse after depression. These researchers have written a popular book, The Mindful Way Through Depression.
The Depression Cure by Dr. Stephen Ilardi explains the University of Kansas depression program Therapeutic Lifestyle Change.
http://www.psych.ku.edu/tlc/Therapeutic%鈥?/a>
The Handbook of Self-Help Therapies says that some popular books for insomnia are based on proven self-help principles, such as Can't Sleep, Can鈥檛 Stay Awake: A Woman鈥檚 Guide to Sleep Disorders by Meir Kryger.
When the topic of stress comes up, I often suggest finding a book on chronic pain management, one written for healthcare providers. Of course, you can find lots of information with Google and the key words stress management or stress reduction.
I am wondering if you are under TOO MUCH stress. Have you taken on more credits than you can handle right now? Is it the stress of graduation perhaps? It may be a difficult adjustment to have your bf far away. I suggest that you may want to see a therapist to rule out clinical depression but off hand it sounds like you have circumstances that would set you into situational depression which is brought on by all the changes and stress building things in your life. In which case, your emotions will probably go back to a normal range after graduation. If they don't, by all means see a Professional. Its very wise of you to ask and consider it a possibility.
Please answer, needing advice that could change my life for the better?
Im almost 17. heres some info: I am about 5,10, 155 .. great shape for my age. I need some advice on clothing styles to impress diff types of girls. There are quite a few girls that love to rave with me/go club-party. but theres 2 problems. 1) the girls at my highschool.. they dont like or dislike.. it seems like a lot of them dont notice me.. even though i am above average in looks, and have been told that im quite talented, i dont know how to get there attention more. 2) (more importantly to me) I sometimes have troubles finding what to do with girls when we hangout either just us two, or with a small group. I think it would be A LOT easier for me, if i was better on picking up on how these girls like to see men dress, and act moreso. i know there are a lot of questions here, but i would appreciate it if someone took time to help me out. some extra info. girl #1 is a year younger, but shes very developed and is quite socially mature for her age. has older friends, a few piercings, loves to rave,.. etc. i would like to know how to get them more interested.Please answer, needing advice that could change my life for the better?
Hello,
I remember being 16 just like it were yesterday and honestly you'll come to realize with age that you need to be YOU. Having to 'act' a certain way is not who you really are as you are trying to be someone you 'think' someone else will like.
In reality, girls like quiet confidence without arrogance.
It's not clothes, it's not what you do, it's not pick up lines, just pure confidence in who you are as a person.
In your question you state you are above average in looks, you say you are 'told' you are talented and you also have a need to find clothes to impress the girls. This is lack of confidence.
Many of the hottest men in Hollywood are that way soley from their confidence. They wear simple jeans and a T shirt and they ooze hotness. Nothing to do with the 'wear'.
Many men whom are not that good looking at all are very 'attractive' in the sense of their amazing confidence!
Start with YOU on the inside. When you feel good about yourself this will shine to others. When you love yourself (not in an arrogant way) literally love your inner being, then this will reflect.
When hanging out, and all else fails, ask questions... Questions spark conversations and conversations lead all kinds of places. The past, the future, types of foods, movies, family, etc...
Good luck, you on the right track! (oh to be 16 again...)
~Alethea
PS be above the influence...dance at raves, stay away from drugs. It's not worth the risk. Being above drugs is confidence as well and girls like that, trust me...Please answer, needing advice that could change my life for the better?
Thank you for the Top Answer :)
Honestly, you will look good in clothes you are comfortable in. What makes YOU feel good? Because when you 'feel' good, you'll be attractive on the inside and outside... Just remember to 'be' yourself, don't try to mimic anyone else. Report Abuse
Wear colors they wear, to get their favorite color. But make sure it looks good on you, hang out with some of her older friends, and try getting closer to her without it being so obvious.
You need to learn to be YOURSELF and also learn to be confident with yourself. Anything else is just a stupid game .
Finding true love (which is where this all goes in the end ) is not a game . Be real , high school is not forever.
Wear form fitting clothes, not super skinny jeans but nice fitting, with straight leg, try styling your hair differently wearing matching shirt %26amp; sweatshirt.
I like it when guys wear vans,baggy skinny jeans, and a studded belt.
Step One: Stop staring at her ';developed'; ares
Step Two: Don't take a girl to a rave. duh.
Step Three: Grow a pair.cheap make up
Hello,
I remember being 16 just like it were yesterday and honestly you'll come to realize with age that you need to be YOU. Having to 'act' a certain way is not who you really are as you are trying to be someone you 'think' someone else will like.
In reality, girls like quiet confidence without arrogance.
It's not clothes, it's not what you do, it's not pick up lines, just pure confidence in who you are as a person.
In your question you state you are above average in looks, you say you are 'told' you are talented and you also have a need to find clothes to impress the girls. This is lack of confidence.
Many of the hottest men in Hollywood are that way soley from their confidence. They wear simple jeans and a T shirt and they ooze hotness. Nothing to do with the 'wear'.
Many men whom are not that good looking at all are very 'attractive' in the sense of their amazing confidence!
Start with YOU on the inside. When you feel good about yourself this will shine to others. When you love yourself (not in an arrogant way) literally love your inner being, then this will reflect.
When hanging out, and all else fails, ask questions... Questions spark conversations and conversations lead all kinds of places. The past, the future, types of foods, movies, family, etc...
Good luck, you on the right track! (oh to be 16 again...)
~Alethea
PS be above the influence...dance at raves, stay away from drugs. It's not worth the risk. Being above drugs is confidence as well and girls like that, trust me...Please answer, needing advice that could change my life for the better?
Thank you for the Top Answer :)
Honestly, you will look good in clothes you are comfortable in. What makes YOU feel good? Because when you 'feel' good, you'll be attractive on the inside and outside... Just remember to 'be' yourself, don't try to mimic anyone else. Report Abuse
Wear colors they wear, to get their favorite color. But make sure it looks good on you, hang out with some of her older friends, and try getting closer to her without it being so obvious.
You need to learn to be YOURSELF and also learn to be confident with yourself. Anything else is just a stupid game .
Finding true love (which is where this all goes in the end ) is not a game . Be real , high school is not forever.
Wear form fitting clothes, not super skinny jeans but nice fitting, with straight leg, try styling your hair differently wearing matching shirt %26amp; sweatshirt.
I like it when guys wear vans,baggy skinny jeans, and a studded belt.
Step One: Stop staring at her ';developed'; ares
Step Two: Don't take a girl to a rave. duh.
Step Three: Grow a pair.
I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE AND HELP on my life on what i should do. GOT REALLY DRUNK yesterday and stuff happend!!!?
Ok the story i'am about to tell you has kinda changed my life..if i should live in my house or not. Becuase things are getitng really bad. First of all let me just tell you i'am a 20 year old guy and i'am paksitani so my culture and religon is very strict.
I went out yesterday and got really drunk . This guy helped me home. I came home around like 4 am. My parents were really mad. well my mom just started to cry. My dad was acting so crazy. He was trying to fight me. He spit on me and then he hit me with a shoe many times while i was drunk. Then he hit me on my left ear and since yesterday i have like 90% hearing loss. I can't hear much from my left ear. and it really hurt. I woke up today and i found so many scracthes on my arm which my dad did. and i'am not trying to act like a baby or anything but it really hurt. Now my question is do u guys think i should move out. and do u think he should have done this becuase i drank?
I';am thinking about moving out and getting my own place and my own life. But then again if i do, there gonna think i hate them and they will never talk to me again . My dad said if you wanna move , then go but you will never ever come in my house again and i wil never ever talk to you. You will be disowned. So i don't know what to do. I mean i do wanna move out but at the same time i can't becuase they're gonna disown me. I mean guys i want some freedom in my life. My parents give me a curfue until 7 pm every single day. It sucks. They don't let me have my own group of freinds. Just tell me what i should do becuase sometimes my parents get on my nerves alot. Do this and do thatt and its making me CRAZY ..seriously. just any advice would be helpful. I feel like a bird in a cage.I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE AND HELP on my life on what i should do. GOT REALLY DRUNK yesterday and stuff happend!!!?
regardless of your parents religion, you shouldn't be coming home drunk at 4 in the morning!! yeah, i think they have the right to be mad. your dad shouldn't have attacked you i think he got pretty carried away. guess he thought he should knock some sense into you! it's their house with their rules. you should apologize and behave till you're on your own.I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE AND HELP on my life on what i should do. GOT REALLY DRUNK yesterday and stuff happend!!!?
your parents DEFINITELY overreacted..
i think you should move out.
i know that would be pretty hard though..
jeeze! i can't believe your parents said they would disown you!
i'm sorry.
:(
i agree that you should not have been coming home drunk at four in the morning... that may be why they dont want you to have you're own group of friends!
but at the same time, having a 7 pm curfew is ridiculous, especially when you're twenty. I'm still in high school and have a later curfew!
point is, if you're that unnerved about all of these restrictions your parents are applying, you should decide whether moving out is a good option.
however, before doing anything rash I would talk to your parents with a level head because you don't want to ruin your relationship for a very long time...
Your father's reaction aside. If you are not willing to live the lifestyle your parents expect you to, then it is 'time to find a place of your own. There is something to the old threat...';If you are going to live uner my roof, you'll live by my rules.'; It is simple respect.
I went out yesterday and got really drunk . This guy helped me home. I came home around like 4 am. My parents were really mad. well my mom just started to cry. My dad was acting so crazy. He was trying to fight me. He spit on me and then he hit me with a shoe many times while i was drunk. Then he hit me on my left ear and since yesterday i have like 90% hearing loss. I can't hear much from my left ear. and it really hurt. I woke up today and i found so many scracthes on my arm which my dad did. and i'am not trying to act like a baby or anything but it really hurt. Now my question is do u guys think i should move out. and do u think he should have done this becuase i drank?
I';am thinking about moving out and getting my own place and my own life. But then again if i do, there gonna think i hate them and they will never talk to me again . My dad said if you wanna move , then go but you will never ever come in my house again and i wil never ever talk to you. You will be disowned. So i don't know what to do. I mean i do wanna move out but at the same time i can't becuase they're gonna disown me. I mean guys i want some freedom in my life. My parents give me a curfue until 7 pm every single day. It sucks. They don't let me have my own group of freinds. Just tell me what i should do becuase sometimes my parents get on my nerves alot. Do this and do thatt and its making me CRAZY ..seriously. just any advice would be helpful. I feel like a bird in a cage.I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE AND HELP on my life on what i should do. GOT REALLY DRUNK yesterday and stuff happend!!!?
regardless of your parents religion, you shouldn't be coming home drunk at 4 in the morning!! yeah, i think they have the right to be mad. your dad shouldn't have attacked you i think he got pretty carried away. guess he thought he should knock some sense into you! it's their house with their rules. you should apologize and behave till you're on your own.I NEED SERIOUS ADVICE AND HELP on my life on what i should do. GOT REALLY DRUNK yesterday and stuff happend!!!?
your parents DEFINITELY overreacted..
i think you should move out.
i know that would be pretty hard though..
jeeze! i can't believe your parents said they would disown you!
i'm sorry.
:(
i agree that you should not have been coming home drunk at four in the morning... that may be why they dont want you to have you're own group of friends!
but at the same time, having a 7 pm curfew is ridiculous, especially when you're twenty. I'm still in high school and have a later curfew!
point is, if you're that unnerved about all of these restrictions your parents are applying, you should decide whether moving out is a good option.
however, before doing anything rash I would talk to your parents with a level head because you don't want to ruin your relationship for a very long time...
Your father's reaction aside. If you are not willing to live the lifestyle your parents expect you to, then it is 'time to find a place of your own. There is something to the old threat...';If you are going to live uner my roof, you'll live by my rules.'; It is simple respect.
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